I want to share my feelings with you, my friends. We all experience similar stuff. The scenery is different, languages used by people are different, weather outside, passions and amount of money in our pockets are different. Nevertheless, we all journey into the same unknown portion of Creation, we are blazing a trail, stomping on the muddy grounds that this world haven’t seen yet – nonpolarized relationship with reality, unconditional allowance and acceptance of the Whole. We are first in this human, extremaly biased reality who dare to relate godly to all circumstances – of course we will fail! It’s like learning to ride a bicycle – you will fail many times before you ride steep downhill trails in the forest. We will fail and we will win as many times as many we will focus on game of polarity. Let’s be honest – in that land of lost gods, in that environment where everyone is objectifying its reality and playing victim role on a daily basis, it is very fucking easy to be human and melt with the crowd. I love this class because of the uniqueness of perspective it offers. It shows possibility of something different, something that doesn’t need approval or applause from the outside. We dont rely on external manifestation as something that causes our state of being. We shape it internally. The class shows me that beauty lays within and it doesn’t require anythig to happen or not to happen. Unconditional rests in the pure and clean miracle of the Now happening effortlessly with no intention to change or control anything. Thats something to cherish, and that’s why I am here.
We are not afraid to choose pain or failure or success over and over again and that’s something amazing, too! We are not running away from certain feelings, but we choose to face our addictions – it’s remarkable work! It’s not even the matter or courage anymore – it’s simple trust in the expansion of a true Self and allowing the stream of the river to take you somewhere you have never been before. Its going with the current even if its painful. It is painful because it may seem we go further and further away from our dreams, needs and wants. What makes the trip fully coalesced, clear and brought back to the Whole is realization that the desires themselves are based on lack and we don’t need them. Experience becomes immeasureable again when we let go of next attachment to future projection, lackful desire and identification with an image of something „better to achive, better to have, better to be”. There is no better version of Planet Earth, there is no better version of Mickey Mouse or better version of Grisza. There is only light shining its show. Experience becomes easy and playfull again when we let go of time and settle down nicely in the present moment.
There are true and authentic wants of the now that we feel absolutelty no resistance with, and they are not negotiable, because you feel you are 100% worthy of it (like: I want to have a tea, let’s have one!). Its extremaly easy to create that physical manifastation quickly because its aligned with your natural, unbiased Truth of the moment. There are also lack based wants that are placed in time. In my case now it is: I deserve to travel the world in a private jetplane with no effort involved – and that is bullshit – I can feel resistance even speaking those words. This is why it is so hard for me to manifest this reality for myself, because I am bullshiting myself and trying to be something I know I am not. So as long as I play time, as long this cycle of pain will continue. When I completely give up my needy greedy approach and surrender to the moment – I experience appreciation for everything that I have infront of me: loving family, warmth under the blanket and food in the fridge. When you stop trying to become special you realize your equality with all – you become humble and meek as a sideproduct, knowing that you could not possibly be brighter then you aldready are.
Now I see how relative all of the physical forms are and how they work for us only as a guiding tools for greater realization of the self. They are not solid objects, they are lightbulbs you can enter as an Awareness to shine and project a scenario for yourself and relate to it with a chosen perspective. You can have an awesome interaction and mindblowing revelation with a simple round and happy orange that sits silently on the table and its easly accesable by you. You can read and extract so much information and passion from it if you allow yourself to listen to it carefully. You can also struggle and effort everyday by running into time based hopes to create another image that has nothing to do with your core essence. Truth is we don’t need what we think we need in time. We are always enough in the moment. Ego tends to forget about it. The same object/experience can be covered with hope and experienced as win/loose situation, or no meaning and no value can be placed in it so it can be embraced as unconditional fleeting Now moment with no care attached to it. This is why we keep on digging – to realize what we are by getting rid of stuff that became dependency. Not to gain a trophy in the future or to be noticed by others. Not to ask for compassion or use people arogantly for a sense of achivement, self development, or doing „the right thing”. We are here, in this class, to do something noone else is doing – to be yourself fully and express every aspect of you boldly with no hesitation and no judgment created upon the action. We are here to be Creation: free, raw, wild and uncaged expression that is Now. MRRRRRRRrrrrraaawwww! 🙂
Our authentic Truth of the moment direct us effortlessly to experiences that provide further realization of the self. It doesn’t direct us to happy places or to evil places, because it doesnt see polarity, it doesn’t have a purpose or an intention. Creation doesnt teach us a lesson. It creates a holografic projection of light that helps us to understand our relationship with our environment on a ever deeper level. Only our ego sees particular projections as harsh, difficult, painful, better, important, appriopriate etc. In its essence, Creation is meaningless and neutral. No place/person/experience/sensation in the body is good or bad, happy or sad, important or trivial unless we define it as something different then unconditional. Sense of achivement comes from the same lack ideology as failure. We are not one and not the other. What we are is the everlasting Awareness of Creation expanding infinitely. We are Awareness that covers all possible expressions. We don’t like some of those expressions because we didn’t have the guts to express them yet and see beauty in them, find a nonpolarized version of them, we avoid other because we feel we are not worthy of experiencing them… and thats exactly what we show ourselves here – how acceptance of everything as you is the only way home.
Physical creation matches our vibration. It simply show us what it has in store, what’s available, what it looks like to be your chosen Truth. The second we start to label stuff, put some importance on it, claim our inferiority or try to take some egoic benefits from our experience – we either fail and feel embarassed, or we win and feel temporarely proud of the success. Both are pretty sad and miserable. Everyone knows that cycle, we are all good at it. To repeat the cycle is a very tempting offer. Its because its something we know and we feel comfortable with. It’s so easy to see pain as painful… All of us know it. To change the relation – we dive into the pain/sense of failure/embarassment and experience it empirically, to realize the illusonary importance/value we have placed in this particular projection. Its funny how making your dream come true with effort can be the worst nightmare. It’s also funny, almost too simple to accept, how complete meek allowance for the simplicity of the moment can offer states of immeasureable alignment, peace and connection that cannot be described in words. Seeing our pain is the only way to let go of it – that’s why we journey there – to get to know pain intimately. What we do in class is deconstructing our identification with forms, deconstructing dependency with pain, hope, desire, all of that. We get rid of claims of the mind that identifies itself with particular forms. We destroy sense of personality caged in believe systems, cultural conditioning, appriopriate behaviors, beneficial healing procedurs, fixing attempts. By experimenting with many expressions we realize witch expressions we feel atracted to naturaly, as unconitional creator loving itself. In the same time we vanish the sense of being one and only thing/person/experience/activity. We realize we are not one thing – we are potential of all of them. We are potential to fail and potential to win. We are potential to continue measuring our reality and compare our cold and dry scales with others. We are potential to experience non-polarized state that glitters silently with mystery, tenderness and peace.