Living effortlessly (suck my frustration!)

 

For many people, this title might sound like something to achive, like something you can gain in the future, like something that you can get. „Just make a one phone call and give us your credit card details, and we will take care of everything else!”. It sounds like a style of living that is reserved for well-born individuals only. Celebrated models perharbs, or maybe some famous actors and best sport athletes on the planet. This title seems very attractive for regular Joe's egoistic mind that seeks comfort, stability, protection, sense of accomplishment and admiration from others.

I can see posters on the bus stops screaming: „Let yourself live effortless life! Let go of drama and manifest your dream Now! You deserve it!” I can imagine a half naked chick adjusting her sunglasses on the nose and winking at you while sipping a coctail with a long, umbrella decorated straw. I can see palm trees and clean blue sky on the poster and a telephone number on the bottom, just in case you want to pay someone a lot of money to get closer to that dream and book your sit next to that pretty but dumb girl in advance. Without a doubt, it would be very attractive comercial that offers something unreachable. Something that regular Joe simply can not afford from his monthly received Walmart's paycheck.

Is it really what effortless life looks like? Is drinking a coctail next to an empty, plastic female mannequin the top of our human aspirations? No. Not in my scenario at the moment at least. I love sex, flirting for fun, stylish cars, elegant outfits and crazy trips to egzotic places. I know how to create all of it using effort: calculations, organization and planning. I know you can achive whatever you want, when you compromise your true worthiness on limitted projections of the future. I know how to use my arogance to create all of that fullfilment in time. I know how to stuck my empty heart with objects temporary satisfaction. I know that, but now I am not chasing after those things. I am not producing, I am not efforting, I am not trying. Now, however, I am becoming aware of different way of living. The life that is Self discovery oriented. The approach that is based on acceptance, allowance and trust. Trust that I am the Creator and I would not fuck myself over. Trust that I will receive everything I need to continue my passion of staying true with my hearts intuition. I am still battling with my mind, observing its death and begging for mercy. In those moments when your reality is about to change because of your vibrational shiftting, the mind is convincing you that all your fears and doubts are real. It is selling you a story about all the bad things that will happen if you refuse to follow its predictions.

There is one more thing I want to add... I am not going to advertise anything or promise anything to anyone ever again, because I have nothing to sell. I can't see one thing being better then the other. I've got a lot to offer – sure - but I can't put a price tag on my creation. My creation is immeasureable. It's my Self expressed in physicality using tools of allowance, vulnerability, passion of being my Truth in the Now. How could I squash my potential down by turning it into a product selled in quantity on a belt-system production? I am not for sale, fuck that. I am here to be – and that realization is causing me a lot of pain! Yes, I feel like wearing a jacket that is two sizes too small. I don't fit to this robotic society anymore but in the same time I want to express my natural with ease. My frustration is here because I feel not enough.

I have reached a point, where being not honest with myself would be the worst punishment I could serve myself for desert. When someone starts telling me what I should or have to do, I am not polite at all. I have no problem with expressing my anger, I've learnt that recently. I have a problem with taking in all that crap served by my family, bank and the others... I am in pain because my mind doesn't want to shut up. Going back to struggles and dailly little dramas, fixing what's not broken would be destroying everything what I have gifted myself by accepting my worthiness returned. Hidding my natural would only cause more pain. Sometimes I think I am diving too deep and all that pain is not making any sense. There is no payoff, something to look forward for. There are just my regular daily walks in the park, daily meals, daily breathing. Not much for the mind seeking entertainment. So that's my journey now: to keep discovering what makes me alive in the Now, what I do effortessly, without attaching any image to that action or creating another dependency related to this action. To keep exploring my Self of Awareness that is dancing with its Creation symbiotically.

Effortless life is very painful for me right now, very severe and annoying often times. Effortless approach doesn't bring you things you desire and want. It simply shows you who you are. Personally speaking, it shows me how much of an arrogant dick I was to myself. It shows me that things I arrogantly desire are nothing but empty trophies for goal oriented mind that seeks proccessing, following breadcrumb trails and geting temporary satisfaction when the work is finished. It is a recognition of addition, truly. Addiction of thinking, generating fear and lack projections of the future. Sometimes I ask myself: How long it will take? Is there the end to it? I guess I can only find out by stop asking this questions and start taking action of the heart in every Now. I must trust that my intuition will let me know when I do stuff because I love it, and when I am creating another dependency. Living effortlessly negates all the assumptions that are foundations of human existance on this planet. To make this vibrational shift happen, you must accept every single limitation you've put on yourself during your life. It is not comfortable at all, it is not stabile, it has nothing to do with gaining respect from people around you. If you choose to be natural, you go through pain. Asking „why?” would be another limitted perspective to accept.